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DHS and TSA Subway Security Takeover

By Last Night in Little Rock, Section War on Terror
Posted on Fri Jul 22, 2005 at 06:42:14 PM EST
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by Last Night in Little Rock

The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) of the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) will announce Saturday that it is taking over security for the New York Subway. A press conference will be held at noon Saturday where NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg, MTA Chairman Peter S. Kalikow, and DHS Secretary Michael Chertoff will announce the new program of random bag searches for the immediate future. Chertoff will say in tomorrow's statement obtained by the media:

"We are not precluding random strip searches as soon as possible. It depends upon how many police officers we can put in the subway. We hope that we soon can have in place magnetometers. It will take longer to install x-ray machines, but subway security is so important that we will install them as soon as we expedite a $1 billion grant."

"Millions ride the NYC Subway everyday. While hijacking a subway train is the stuff of fiction [remember The Taking of Pelham 123?], we know that 5,000 were injured in the Toyko sarin gas attack on March 20, 1995. That could happen here, and we are going to stop it any way we can."

"Homeland security is our most important concern. What happened in London will never happen in New York or any other American subway system. We will extend this to other subway systems as soon as further grants can be obtained in this order: Washington, D.C., Boston, Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Philadelphia."

No, this is not true, at least not this minute, but did you wonder?

< Imbecilic Comment of the Day | GAO: TSA Violated Privacy Act >

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    DHS and TSA Subway Security Takeover | 14 comments (14 topical)
    Re: DHS and TSA Subway Security Takeover (none / 0) (#1)
    by roy on Sat Dec 17, 2005 at 01:01:32 PM EST
    No, this is not true, at least not this minute, but did you wonder?
    Is that another way to say "the truth isn't bad enough to convince you, so here's something imaginary."? Lawyers take sophistry to such an artistic level.

    Re: DHS and TSA Subway Security Takeover (none / 0) (#2)
    by Talkleft Visitor on Sat Dec 17, 2005 at 01:01:32 PM EST
    Uh, Roy, I think she's making the point that things have descended to such a level that this kind of thing has become plausible. That's not sophistry, which is subtle and deceptive, but illustration - obvious and with a statement to make. Whether you agree with her point or not, it's better not to mischaracterize the form of her argument. That's the kind of trick you would accuse a "lawyer" of pulling.

    Re: DHS and TSA Subway Security Takeover (none / 0) (#3)
    by Talkleft Visitor on Sat Dec 17, 2005 at 01:01:32 PM EST
    The post was written by Last Night in Little Rock, not me.

    Re: DHS and TSA Subway Security Takeover (none / 0) (#4)
    by roy on Sat Dec 17, 2005 at 01:01:32 PM EST
    I'm using the layman's definition for "sophistry", which is "bad logic thing". Besides, we have to break in the new guy.

    Re: DHS and TSA Subway Security Takeover (none / 0) (#5)
    by Darryl Pearce on Sat Dec 17, 2005 at 01:01:32 PM EST
    Y'know, I sure wish they'd stop making promises they can't keep.
    "What happened in London will never happen in New York or any other American subway system."
    I get more and more cynical while they have a load of unfulfilled promises. "We'll get bin-Laden dead or alive" "Our strategy of fightin' 'em there means we won't have to fight 'em here" -- except for that whole 9-11-2001 thing. "It just a few bad apples." --of course, the rest of that axiom is "a few bad apples spoils the bunch."

    Re: DHS and TSA Subway Security Takeover (none / 0) (#6)
    by Talkleft Visitor on Sat Dec 17, 2005 at 01:01:32 PM EST
    homeland security are like the keystone kops. every time something happens they react to it. using airplanes for bombs, tighten airport security. show bomb on plane, check everybodys shoes. now the subway stuff. if terraist would have used a greyhound bus hs would be jumping all over greyhound. im just glad the shoe bomber didnt have his bomb in his butt....

    Re: DHS and TSA Subway Security Takeover (none / 0) (#7)
    by wg on Sat Dec 17, 2005 at 01:01:32 PM EST
    not too bad, that bit about strip searches got me suspicious, but I decided it wasn't that far fetched after all. Scary!

    Re: DHS and TSA Subway Security Takeover (none / 0) (#8)
    by wg on Sat Dec 17, 2005 at 01:01:32 PM EST
    sophistry is rarely a problem with lawyers, casuistry usually is.

    Re: DHS and TSA Subway Security Takeover (none / 0) (#9)
    by bad Jim on Sat Dec 17, 2005 at 01:01:32 PM EST
    Perhaps the strip searches are being offered as a marketing move. New York's big enough to provide an audience for that sort of entertainment. The TSA will put out signs: FEEL FREE HERE And what do you know, you get a free feel.

    Re: DHS and TSA Subway Security Takeover (none / 0) (#10)
    by unbill on Sat Dec 17, 2005 at 01:01:32 PM EST
    Sorry, but I would rather not have such false reports on TalkLeft. Or at least write "This is not true" in the upper part of the article. Here, you waited until the end to announce that the article was a fake - which is suspenseful indeed - but you are demanding a little too much attention on part of your readers by doing so. Please stick to the facts, Little Rock, they are bad enough!

    Re: DHS and TSA Subway Security Takeover (none / 0) (#11)
    by John Mann on Sat Dec 17, 2005 at 01:01:34 PM EST
    Speaking of subways, the BBC is reporting that the guy the undercover cops murdered in London yesterday had nothing to do with any terrorist activity. The cops say it was a "tragedy".

    Re: DHS and TSA Subway Security Takeover (none / 0) (#12)
    by wg on Sat Dec 17, 2005 at 01:01:34 PM EST
    they are getting a taste of policing style that is all too familiar here. I have bad news for them, once you go down that fork in the road, you never go back. There is something perversely attractive about killing fellow human beings, the excitement of cornering your quarry, the smell, the sound, the kick of your gun, the scent of of your victim's blood, the rush of it all, that makes them want to do it again. Impossible to restrain when done under the color of law. Trust us. We got experience.

    Re: DHS and TSA Subway Security Takeover (none / 0) (#13)
    by Peter G on Sat Dec 17, 2005 at 01:01:34 PM EST
    Not "sophistry," and certainly not "casuistry." And not a "false report." Just good ol' fashioned satire, and well executed, too, JW.

    Re: DHS and TSA Subway Security Takeover (none / 0) (#14)
    by unbill on Sat Dec 17, 2005 at 01:01:34 PM EST
    Just to mention another problem on how the "satire" is presented. I read the headline on my rss-feed - and the first two paragraphs were provided as well. If I hadn't clicked to the article, I would have thought that the report was true. I guess that I am kind of annoyed because I first thought that it was true. Especially since I am used to reading newspapers, where the important information is always at the beginning of articles. I bet that a lot of us read only the beginning of a lot of articles and trust that nothing extraordinary will come after clicking "more" or turning to page 13, column 3. Oh well, don't mean to complain that much. :)

    DHS and TSA Subway Security Takeover | 14 comments (14 topical)