Rudy Giuliani? Spare Us

Rudy Giuliani joined a new law firm, along with former AUSA Mark Mukasey (son of former AG Michael Mukasey.) They are going to head up a new cyber-security section of the firm. They are leaving a law firm in Texas to do so.

Miami-founded global law firm Greenberg Traurig LLP announced Tuesday that Giuliani and Mukasey were joining the firm as global chair of the firm’s Cybersecurity and Crisis Management Practice and senior advisor to the firm’s executive chairman, and global co-chair of the firm’s White Collar Defense Practice, respectively.

Their remarks in this interview are flat-out laughable, from those about El Chapo to South Florida to Rudy's travel schedule. Some quotes: [More...]

Mukasey has been gone from DOJ since 2005. The article quotes him as saying:

Mukasey was in the U.S. Attorney’s Office when the office indicted druglord J oaquín Archivaldo Guzmán Loera, also known as El Chapo.

“There is going to be a dog fight between New York and Miami and Arizona [to try the case]. Texas has a claim, Washington does,” Mukasey said. “It’s not going to be much of a prosecution, because he essentially confessed to Sean Penn.

The Arizona Indictment was dismissed against El Chapo in 2012. I published the dismissal order here and wrote about it here and here. The two districts which have obtained Mexican arrest warrants for extradition (now on hold due to amparo writs) are Southern California and the Western District of Texas. Could other requests be pending or agreed to? Of course, but presently there is no unsealed Indictment pending in Arizona. When did Washington (either D.C. or a federal district in WA state) indict El Chapo? (Zambada-Garcia was indicted in D.C. along with his brother and son in 2003, but not El Chapo. ) Mukasey doesn't even mention Chicago, which arguably has a good case against him and is now on its 9th Superseding Indictment charging him.

Here's Rudy on criminal defense. Laugh out loud funny in an "eyes wide shut" kind of way.

“Assistant U.S. Attorneys, SEC lawyers, IRS people, these are the kinds of people that are really the ones that best understand how to defend you when you’re in trouble with the government,” Giuliani said.

He brags about kidnapping suspected Colombian drug traffickers without getting an extradtion order:

“Colombia has made a complete turn around, but in those days, we used to extradite Colombian drug cartel people by a more informal method of extradition. We put them on an airplane and sent them to Kennedy [airport,]” Giuliani said.

Rudy still loves to hob-nob with the rich and famous: He loves Palm Beach and Boca Raton:

“I’m in New York today. This weekend I’m going to Switzerland, but I’d probably be in Florida if I wasn’t. [Maybe] next weekend,” Giuliani said. “Some of my best friends live in Miami, Boca and Palm Beach… we know Florida, we enjoy Florida because we have so many friends there.”

And then there's Mukasey's odd comment about trying to get a mortgage.

When purchasing a residence in South Florida, even a former federal prosecutor can’t catch a break.

“The anti-money laundering check and background work took a long time. Actually they checked through every terrorist watch list, they checked every suspicious banking activity. They really put you through the ringer,” Mukasey said.

“But the idea that, in a potentially multi hundred million or billion transaction, we need to know who is buying and who is selling and where the funds are coming from, in general is very smart,” he added.

Is he talking about a personal mortgage or a huge commercial development? If it's the former, I'm not buying buying it. It seems like the latter, in which case the quote about residential mortgages is just misinformation. I highly doubt he tried to buy a personal residence in the multi-hundred million dollar range.

The country is such a nicer place when we don't have to read news and press releases about Rudy Giuliani.

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  • Display: Sort:
    wow. can't think of much else to say (5.00 / 1) (#1)
    by ruffian on Thu Jan 21, 2016 at 11:05:16 AM EST
    Thanks for digging in so we don't have to.

    OK I will add one thing (5.00 / 2) (#2)
    by ruffian on Thu Jan 21, 2016 at 11:06:26 AM EST
    No surprise these snake oil salesman are jumping on the cyber-security bandwagon.

    I feel more secure already. Not.


    Jeralyn (5.00 / 1) (#3)
    by jbindc on Thu Jan 21, 2016 at 12:02:42 PM EST
    You spelled Guiliani's name wrong.

    methinks...not high on her priority list! (5.00 / 2) (#4)
    by ruffian on Thu Jan 21, 2016 at 01:24:03 PM EST
    Yes... (5.00 / 6) (#5)
    by kdog on Thu Jan 21, 2016 at 01:52:27 PM EST
    everybody knows it's spelled Ghouliani.

    But hey, at least he stopped running for office, we got that going for us!  I wish all "public servants" who seek to be wealthy, instead of simply comfortably upper middle class,  would do the same.


    Dear Mr. Julyanna: (5.00 / 6) (#6)
    by KeysDan on Thu Jan 21, 2016 at 03:07:06 PM EST
    c/o Cypher Security, 9ll Exploitation Lane, NYC.

    Re: I want a job

    I noted, with interest, your new venture with your new friend, the son of George W. Bush's replacement for the distinguished A.G, Alberto Gonzales.  My colleague across the aisle, Chuck Schumer, speaks almost as highly of his dad as his dad does of waterboarding. High praise, indeed.

    I am presently employed as a temp. in the US Senate, but that responsibility will soon end (thank goodness), and any promotions may be passing me by.

     Just as Republican Gov. Rick Snyder carried out his pledge to "run government like a business," saving, as a good example, hundreds of dollars with a novel approach to drinking water, I, in a reverse way, can bring my sparking government experience to business.  You certainly understand that. The responsibilities are not important, just the money.

    I am enclosing my resume (postage-stamp sized, to accommodate your busy schedule and my record).  You may think it puny, but, then, it is competitive with those of your firm.

     And, you are looking to expand to South Florida, particularly Miami. My area, and no need to re-locate.   I, like you, stand tall (with the help of my new shoes) for America.    Yours in security,

     M. Rubio (Washington, D.D, occasionally).


    only in the subject line (5.00 / 1) (#8)
    by Jeralyn on Thu Jan 21, 2016 at 06:46:47 PM EST
    and I fixed it, but thanks for letting me know. It wasn't intentional. At least I spelled it Giu" rather than "Gui" (learned that years ago)

    GIuliani (none / 0) (#7)
    by lentinel on Thu Jan 21, 2016 at 04:09:21 PM EST
    was invited to speak at my niece's highschool graduation.

    His inspirational message was to be talking about intercepting drugs at the border.

    Glazed eyes.

    Everyone knew that instead of addressing the students on a very important day in their lives, he was fking running for office.

    He turned my stomach then, and he turns it now.

    And "Guilani" is just fine for spelling. He doesn't deserve to have his name spelled correctly.

    Are you serious? (none / 0) (#10)
    by kdog on Fri Jan 22, 2016 at 08:32:20 AM EST
    If he tried that at my high school graduation, he woulda got booed from the stage.  

    We liked drugs...those of us with petty arrest records & summonses acquired under his reign of terror in NYC, not so much.


    Is There a More Tone Deaf... (none / 0) (#11)
    by ScottW714 on Fri Jan 22, 2016 at 08:42:42 AM EST
    ... speech one could make for people on the cusp of leaving their parents fiefdoms ?  Maybe he could have thrown in some underage drinking and waiting until marriage for sex, blather, I guess.

    Greenberg Traurig (none / 0) (#9)
    by Mr Natural on Thu Jan 21, 2016 at 08:32:38 PM EST
    was Jack Abramoff's employer back in the day [of Tom Delay].  A little background from Politico..