As individuals, we continue to grow and mature as we move forward through this lifetime, and I've always felt it foolish to simply assume that members of a couple will necessarily grow in the same direction and mature at the same rate.

It's a sign of their grace and maturity that the Hickenloopers are willing to allow their personal relationship with one another to evolve naturally, as a concurrent reflection of both their growing differences and their enduring common interests. What's the point of being simply content to maintain an unhealthy status quo, in which ultimately no one is going to be happy?

I hope that as the bitter feelings of the moment pass and the remaining pretentions of a former passion fade away, they will find that a deep and meaningful personal friendship with one another will have arisen in their place.

That said, I have no sense that there is any bitterness between them and that they will remain good, if not best, friends.  Best of luck to all three of them.  

if i'm that unhappy that i want to separate from my spouse, i somehow doubt i'm going to basically continue doing what we've been doing as husband & wife, which is, i thought, the whole idea of separation/divorce to begin with. did i miss something here?

I was at their wedding in Austin, having known Helen for many years when she was on staff at Texas Monthly magazine.  I didn't know John but I did already know  George Hickenlooper through contacts in the film world.  I think the world of all three of those people and mourn the death of  George and the end of John and Helen's union.  It seems nothing good ever lasts, sometimes.

While I did not stay in close contact with Helen, other friends have and their inside account is not much different that what I can say as a relative outside observer.  

It's difficult to sustain a marriage in any time, but in our modern era Helen herself was admittedly not ideally suited to a first lady role and often said so.  In the span of one year she met, courted and married John, eft her home in Texas and became pregnant with their first child while he went from being a successful tavern owner to the improbable leading candidate for mayor of Denver, all while her career as a writer was ascending and she was on the verge of getting steady work on major publications - at at time in which the print industry was being shaken to its core, and assignments were hard to come by even for veteran writers.  

Although her character and intellect is impeccable, Helen was no debutante.  I'd never even seen her wear a dress in the decade previous.  Being the governor's wife was not really what she signed on for.  I'm sure career is not the only factor but it was a contributing factor to the stress she felt from the start.  

We in Austin wish she'd move back "home," but that may not happen just yet.   Colorado is a proving ground IMO for progressive ideas and forward thinking politicians like John Hickenlooper.  I wish him all the best and if he ever runs for a higher office he'd have my vote.