CNN reports Illinois Republicans have chosen Mitt Romney. CBS reports the same. Santorum is now far behind in delegates.
Make a new
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - With a fall presidential contest between President Barack Obama and former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney seeming increasingly likely, America's bigots are finding themselves in a quandary over which candidate to support, prominent bigots confirmed today.
In other political news, former Sen. Rick Santorum revealed that he made his first sweater vest himself when he tore off the sleeves of his straitjacket.
At least his big constituents the oil companies will be happy...
Bush accomplished everything he set out to accomplish, in spite of and even because of a Democratic Party that for the last two years of his presidency controlled a majority in both the House and the Senate for the first time since the end of the 103rd Congress in 1995.
If Barack Obama keeps on getting the kinds of results he keeps on getting, it's because those are the results he was aiming for.
Everything he's 'accomplishing' he's accomplishing on purpose, because it's what he sets out to accomplish.
The only reasonable place to go is here.
It really is to weep.
An easier race in the fall is not worth the damage of elevating that man.