To be perfectly honest, I really don't have a problem with Scott Fujita's "I'm not gay" reference, because I think he probably said that in response to someone's question (or raised eyebrow!). Frankly, I'm proud of him for taking on this last bastion of publicly accepted bigotry and intolerance, particularly since he works in a virulently homophobic, openly mysogynist profession where über-macho d**kswinging tends to be the norm, rather than the exception. That shows real personal courage on his part.

And I'm not gay, either - but I was once married to a closeted lesbian who came out and left me for another woman. I have to admit that it's only been within the last ten-to-twelve years or so where I'm comfortable talking about such matters. It's been a rather long journey of personal growth for me to get to where I am in full support of our LGBT brothers and sisters, but it's been a trip well worth taking, and I'd like to think that I'm a better person for the experience.

Here's an excerpt, with the language taken out of context for the NY Times article.

Dave Zirin: ...How present is homophobia in the locker room on a day in and day out basis?

Scott Fujita: ... I think I have an opinion, that I wish was shared by everybody, but I honestly believe that it's shared by more [football players] than we know because a lot of people just won't speak out about it. I'm hoping that what [Baltimore Ravens linebacker] Brendon [Ayanbadejo] did, and things like what I'm doing, speaking out a little bit, hopefully more people will step up and acknowledge the fact that hey, its ok to talk about this. Just because I'm in favor of gay rights doesn't mean that I'm gay or doesn't mean I'm some kind of "sissy" or something. That's the language that you hear in locker rooms. I know these guys well. I know for the most part, guys are a lot more tolerant than they get credit for but they're not comfortable yet speaking out about it. It's going to come in time. By in large, it's an opinion that's shared by more people than are realized. I just wish it was shared by everybody.

Dave Zirin: Scott, do you have any concerns that teammates, fans, people will say Scott Fujita may be married and have kids, but maybe on the down low he might really be gay? Do you have concern that teammates, bloggers, the press will talk that kind of smack about you either behind your back or to your face?

Scott Fujita: No, I have no concern about that whatsoever. I know who I am. My wife knows who I am. I don't care one way or the other Dave. I imagine that when some of this gets out guys in the locker room might give me a hard time, and they always give me a hard time. They call me the Pinko Communist Fag from Berkley. I'm used to it. I can take it all.

Tony Siragusa: "He seems a little different than what I expected. I thought he went... and was a little bit too overconfident in the meeting. Just a different kind of guy. Not a meat-and-potato guy, but a very sophisticated man. That's as much as I can go into right now, Dick."

Daryl Johnston: "More champagne and caviar than meat and potatoes?"

Siragusa: "Yeah! I wouldn't see him going out and ordering a beer anytime soon, to tell you the truth.

Dick Stockton: "In other words, he may not be your kind of guy?"

Siragusa: "Nah, he's the kind of guy who's on the other side of the club than I am. He's over there with the champagne and the caviar, and also the strawberries and chocolate."

Stockton: "Yeah, we get the idea."

But, Joey Harrington shot back the next day:

"I'm not his kind of guy, why? Because I was cordial in the production meeting? Because I try to be articulate? Because I smile when I play? Because I enjoy myself out there? Because I'm not a billy badass?

"I was raised a certain way. I was raised to be polite. I was raised to look someone in the eye, and when they ask you a question then you answer it. If he's got a problem with the way I play, then go ahead and say it.

"If he looks at how I play I don't think he'd be making those comments. If he looks at how I work, I don't think he'd be making those comments. If he came to the parking lot and checked to see whose car is the last one out of here every day, would he be making those comments.

"It's nice playing in front of the best linebacker in the history of the game, isn't it?

"If that's his insult, then that doesn't say a whole lot for himself. If he says I'm sophisticated and articulate, then boy, that hurts. That really stings."

Do they think this is some great gay fantasy. That every gay guy is out to convert them. (Kind of like the Morman's and Evangelicals)!

i find the mormons and evangelicals far more annoying, at least a gay guy takes "not interested" for an answer.

And yet women as a whole are not expected to fear straight men.

Odd that so many "progressives" choose to have so little interest in and empathy for the root causes of some issue...

no doubt some are, the vast majority aren't:

many young males are sexually abused by older males.

to suggest (and ask us to take seriously) that this is the root cause of homophobia in our society is, at best, laughable. not to mention an insult to the intelligence of everyone on this site.

How much of the abuse and exploitation is the result of repression due to societal pressures and how much of the repression is a reaction to abuse and exploitation..

Or, is what amounts male rape just a form of violent acting out of power fantasies only peripherally related to issues of 'identity'?

IMO your argument as applied to women would mean that women feel uncomfortable around men and have a harder time dealing with heteronormativity because of that.

Still, I do see your general point.  The aggressiveness toward gender difference, women, and gays inherent in homophobia stems from men not wanting to seem weak.  And the reality is, that many times in their life, men ARE weak.  Boys slightly older than other boys abuse the younger ones all the time.  And as you say boys are also abused by older men.