The husband and I are just chillin' out; I did some gardening and read an entire book out on the deck, husband washed the cars and did some puttering.  I laughingly said to him at one point, "I keep thinking of all these things I could be doing, and then my next thought is, naaah, don't feel like it."

After years of having kids at home whose needs came first, this empty nest thing has freed me to be selfish - I still feel some guilt about it now and again, but indulging myself is, most of the time, a lot of fun.  It's filling a place inside me that I didn't even realize needed some attention until I had the space and time to see it and feel it.

It makes the things I do for others now more about want than about obligation - and there is a purity of spirit there that feels really good.  Don't get me wrong - I love my kids with every fiber of my being - but there's a genuineness to our relationship now that is so much deeper and richer and full than in all those years when we were on the family treadmill.

And while I can see how husbands and wives can find themselves looking at each other at this stage and wondering who the heck they are and what they're doing with each other, all I can say is that I'm glad we're not in that group.  No, we're not the same carefree people who met 30-some years ago, fell in love, got married and started a new life together; we're better, stronger, more connected, and more together than we ever were then.

Listen to me - going all philosophical; maybe that's where a beautiful day and the blessings of my life take me.  Whatever - I'm grateful and contented, and I can think of no better way to feel on such a gorgeous day.

A few weeks ago, my wife comes into my office and says "Eli wants to spend the money he's saved on a pocket knife, what do you think?"

Eli has just turned nine, is a complete city kid, spends far more time around adults than most kids his age.

"No way," I reply.

She walks out.  I think about it.  Come on, let him be a boy, it's not like he wants a gun, it's not like he's a bully or irresponsible with his other stuff.  He doesn't have any kids in the neighborhood, all his friends live a decent drive away.  Come on, let him have a little knife, he can learn something, whittling, something that will be useful and fun.

So I walk out into the living room and say I've changed my mind.  When he returns from the store with a small Swiss Army-style knife, I read him the riot act of rules and be carefuls and don't you dares.

A few hours later, as we sat around the dinner table with my wife's sister and a couple of friends, from back in Eli's room we hear the anguished cry of "Mom!"  Then another one, this time warbling from anger or pain or similar emotion.  My wife goes back, assuming he's frustrated with his computer and needs his mom's help (computers are her career).  A few minutes later and she's not back, I can hear water running in the bathroom, some sniffling and pained sounds.  I move down the hall and, sure enough, within hours of getting this knife, the kid has carved up the end of his finger nicely.  There is blood all over the sink, on the counter, poor Eli is shaking in shock, and all he says is "I was worried you were going to get really mad at me, daddy."  

"Nah," I told him, "there's nothing I could do at this point that would teach you any more than you just taught yourself."

"The only thing I taught myself," he sniffled, "was I don't think I want a pocket knife anymore.  You can have it."

So it's on my keychain for now, waiting for him to get his courage up again.  We're going camping in a few weeks, his first real trip doing so, so I think he'll be asking for it again soon.  We shall see.

Can't sing and can't play the guitar.  What's the point.

i often wonder, listening to "Born in the U.S.A.", how many people actually listen to those lyrics, which i picked up on around the second or third time i heard it. put a whole new perspective on it for me.

country music thrives on its appeal to a large subset of americans: they have nothing; aren't likely to ever amount to anything; tend to not be very bright; are easily led around; but dammit, they are proud to be americans!

"The right answer is, 'Give me a government that works,'" the former secretary of state said in a television interview to be aired Sunday. "Keep it as small as possible," added Powell, who said he has spoken recently with Obama and stays in touch with him. Powell, a Republican, endorsed Obama last year over the GOP presidential nominee, Arizona Sen. John McCain.

Obama wants to overhaul the health care system and take on climate change while also helping the country emerge from the recession.

"I think one of the cautions that has to be given to the president -- and I've talked to some of his people about this -- is that you can't have so many things on the table that you can't absorb it all. And we can't pay for it all," Powell said.

Sure sounds like some groundwork laying to me.