Write Your Own Joke

By TChris, Section Other Politics
Posted on Sun May 10, 2009 at 02:22:29 PM EST
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On "Face the Nation," Dick Cheney explained that Republicans "win elections when we have good solid conservative principles to run upon." So what happened to all the "good solid conservative principles" in 2006 and 2008? Did the candidates forget they existed? Has the supply of good solid conservative principles, seemingly so rich during the Reagan years, been dwindling? Did conservative politicians use up the last of their principles during the first half of the decade?

Dick Cheney is not the ideal spokesman for principles, conservative or otherwise. As practiced by Cheney, good solid conservative principles eroded our civil rights and our middle class, caused the needless deaths of American soldiers and Iraqi civilians, destroyed our economy, divided our people, and violated our laws. It's surprising that the Republican leadership hasn't invited its least popular leader to a quail hunt for a little chat about retirement.

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Cheney says he's speaking out because if he doesn't, there "isn't anybody there on the other side to tell the truth." Those who can expound Cheney's truths may be few in number, but they include Rush Limbaugh, who won Cheney's endorsement, at least in a contest between Limbaugh and Colin Powell. Said Cheney, "If I had to choose in terms of being a Republican, I'd go with Rush Limbaugh."

Write your own joke: Dick Cheney calls Rush Limbaugh a truth-teller. That's like [blank] calling [blank] a [blank].

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Write Your Own Joke | 23 comments (23 topical)

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I was at the Giant in McLean (5.00 / 1) (#1)
by jtaylorr on Sun May 10, 2009 at 02:33:21 PM EST

just yesterday. I turn down the frozen foods asile with my cart in hand, and Dick Cheney is at the other end of the asile, pushing his cart, flanked by a security guard.
My blood started pumping and I tried to think of something to say.
In the end, I decided he's just a sad old man; not worth getting worked up over.
So I just pushed my cart right past him.

Hope you at least nicked his ankles (5.00 / 2) (#2)
by oculus on Sun May 10, 2009 at 02:43:14 PM EST

w/your cart.


: Case for Torture (5.00 / 1) (#9)
by noonan on Sun May 10, 2009 at 03:54:08 PM EST

Did you intend to injure the Veep? Tell us the truth! Did you really intend to run him over with your cart? Tell us the truth!

Perhaps you mistook the full-time EMT (5.00 / 1) (#5)
by easilydistracted on Sun May 10, 2009 at 03:00:52 PM EST

for the security guard.


Wow, just like the Dan Fogelberg song (none / 0) (#4)
by ruffian on Sun May 10, 2009 at 02:55:22 PM EST

except with security guards.

Did you get a look at what was in his cart? Does he really eat frozen kitten livers?


The day Cheney dies... (5.00 / 1) (#6)
by Dadler on Sun May 10, 2009 at 03:27:58 PM EST

...will be a great day for America. There should be dancing in the streets and parades. That he is now a bitter, defeated, cynical, absurd, sack of wet brownies (not that he always wasn't in mahy ways) desperate to keep his grizzled puss in the news, well, I guess we'll just have to put up with it until that decomposing ticker in his chest finally has had enough of him too. Then again, if he keeps yapping like the Grinch's meaner brother, he may just do the progressive cause a favor. If there is a real progressive cause in this country anymore, that is.

: Bitter? Defeated? (5.00 / 2) (#12)
by imhotep on Sun May 10, 2009 at 04:41:55 PM EST

I don't know. He built a house right across the street from the CIA. There are some who think he may have moles there.
Why didn't he go back to WY or TX or where ever he's from? He is sticking close to the action for some reason. Maybe psychological-can't bear to think he's no longer running the show.
Or maybe just psychotic.

: Wanda! Nice to have you at TL! (none / 0) (#16)
by ruffian on Sun May 10, 2009 at 06:09:18 PM EST

I hear you knocked 'em dead last night, so to speak.

That's like (5.00 / 1) (#7)
by noonan on Sun May 10, 2009 at 03:52:53 PM EST

That's like Joe Lieberman calling Joe Lieberman a Democrat!

: Joe Lieberman (none / 0) (#11)
by cal1942 on Sun May 10, 2009 at 04:38:49 PM EST

is far more like a Democrat than Limbaugh a 'truth-teller'
No comparison.

in hopes (5.00 / 1) (#8)
by cpinva on Sun May 10, 2009 at 03:53:03 PM EST

It's surprising that the Republican leadership hasn't invited its least popular leader to a quail hunt for a little chat about retirement.

that he shoots himself in the face?

ok, here's the problem, the "undead" don't retire, they must have a wooden stake pounded through their hearts, while the sleep. barring that, exposure to sunlight will kill them as well.

what's almost funny (in a batsh*t crazy kind of way) about this, is that cheney appears to actually believe the insanity he's been spewing, since jan. 20. the man is clearly delusional, and should be under the care of trained, licensed medical professionals.

: He does believe (5.00 / 1) (#13)
by cal1942 on Sun May 10, 2009 at 05:02:09 PM EST

a lot of what he says and batsh!t crazy is about right.
Cheney is an example of someone who slipped through the cracks (cracks that have widened into a yawning gap over the past few decades) of our political system, a man who never should have been in a position to reach a high level of influence.
It's frightening that our political system is compromised enough, our office holders mediocre enough to allow the emergence of a Dick Cheney and depressing that he's invited to remain in the public eye.

The thing about Cheney is that (5.00 / 2) (#18)
by Anne on Sun May 10, 2009 at 07:12:36 PM EST

there just isn't anything funny about him.

I'm not in the practice of wishing people dead, but I do believe the world will be better off when Cheney finally shuffles off this mortal coil and begins his stint in hell.

Perhaps the irony that will haunt Cheney in the netherworld is people cheering his death with more passion than they did Saddam's.

Cheney's still a dangerous man... (5.00 / 2) (#20)
by desertswine on Sun May 10, 2009 at 10:02:20 PM EST

who thinks he has cards to play. Yes why is'nt he in Texas, Wyoming, or Dubai?

That's like... (5.00 / 1) (#22)
by kdog on Sun May 10, 2009 at 11:29:58 PM EST

the CIA calling the DEA pro-liberty.

Calling the Pope a Baptist? (none / 0) (#3)
by easilydistracted on Sun May 10, 2009 at 02:49:40 PM EST

As you well know... (none / 0) (#10)
by diogenes on Sun May 10, 2009 at 04:35:43 PM EST

2006 was filled with corruption. The best of parties gets tired in office and loses (thus the fact that the Conservatives are ahead of Labor in polls in England right now)whatever its' positions. Also, it's a lot easier to campaign on princilples in opposition (witness candidate Obama on Gitmo or ending the Iraq war).

Didja hear the one about the Democratic Party... (none / 0) (#14)
by Dawn Davenport on Sun May 10, 2009 at 05:08:12 PM EST

...that went on to win the presidency and both houses of Congress only to squander the win by spending more time taking shots at irrelevant Republicans than pressuring its leadership to enact meaningful healthcare reform, restore civil liberties, end the wars in the Middle East, and help the struggling middle class?

: Didja hear the one... (none / 0) (#15)
by Thanin on Sun May 10, 2009 at 05:12:37 PM EST

about a website called Talkleft with front pagers who regularly criticize democratic leadership when they neglect the issues?

You have well documented (none / 0) (#19)
by abdiel on Sun May 10, 2009 at 09:19:49 PM EST

that the Bush administration was ruined by Iraq, Abu Ghraib, Hurricane Katrina, and bad budgets. None of that has to do with conservative principles. What Cheney is saying isn't necessarily wrong, that the GOP should return to its roots of fiscal conservatism, family values, and an aggressive foreign policy of limited goals.

What you should really be mocking is that GOP knows all of this and would do better than a filibuster-less minority if they followed his advice, but they're too inept and greedy to do it.

I find the Cheney jokes disgusting and offensive. Please stop.

Could you define family values? (none / 0) (#21)
by Thanin on Sun May 10, 2009 at 11:16:51 PM EST

I find Cheney disgusting and offensive. (none / 0) (#23)
by DFLer on Mon May 11, 2009 at 07:43:52 AM EST

I wish HE would stop.


: Seriously... (none / 0) (#24)
by kdog on Mon May 11, 2009 at 07:58:08 AM EST

somebody tell Dick he won...never held accountable for the abuse of power, his former company got rich, he's got the flags planted in the Middle East just like he always dreamed...you beat us man, quit while you're ahead will ya?