CIA Plays Candy Man to Afghans

What will the CIA do to win friends among the Afghans? The Washington Post reports almost anything -- including handing out little blue pills to help the warlords with "sagging libidos."

Officials say these inducements are necessary in Afghanistan, a country where warlords and tribal leaders expect to be paid for their cooperation, and where, for some, switching sides can be as easy as changing tunics. If the Americans don't offer incentives, there are others who will, including Taliban commanders, drug dealers and even Iranian agents in the region.

The usual bribes of choice -- cash and weapons -- aren't always the best options, Afghanistan veterans say. Guns too often fall into the wrong hands, they say, and showy gifts such as money, jewelry and cars tend to draw unwanted attention.

What's next? Stress relievers, anti-depressants, "pep pills", Ambien?

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  • Display: Sort:
    Bribery (5.00 / 1) (#6)
    by bocajeff on Fri Dec 26, 2008 at 10:10:40 AM EST
    When you bribe someone you have to give them something they want. If they wanted schools and roads then that would be done. If they tuna fish sandwiches with the crust of the bread cut off and sliced diagonally and not down the middle then you do that. If they want the last 2 Nas CD's then you give them that. You can't prescribe to them, they prescribe to you...

    I'm sure... (5.00 / 1) (#8)
    by Addison on Fri Dec 26, 2008 at 11:01:49 AM EST
    ...that all those Viagra pills are being put to use in loving relationships between two consenting adults.

    That's what I thought too (5.00 / 1) (#9)
    by Militarytracy on Fri Dec 26, 2008 at 11:08:44 AM EST
    pretty gross if you ask me

    They could probably just order (none / 0) (#10)
    by oculus on Fri Dec 26, 2008 at 11:16:59 AM EST
    from Mexico.  No prescription needed.  Street market south of Ensenada full of "pharmacies" and street hawkers.  Special sale on Viagra.

    Supposing though (none / 0) (#11)
    by Militarytracy on Fri Dec 26, 2008 at 11:21:22 AM EST
    they wouldn't necessarily want Viagra unless someone introduced them to it and they began to manufacture a need for it.

    What, they don't have TV? (none / 0) (#12)
    by oculus on Fri Dec 26, 2008 at 11:27:21 AM EST
    Do they have viagra commercials though? (none / 0) (#13)
    by Militarytracy on Fri Dec 26, 2008 at 11:31:38 AM EST
    In Iraq they have childrens shows teaching hate the Americans.  It really freaks out my husband's best friend.  He says we are headed to a religous war in our lifetimes.  I think if we leave though perhaps Barney in Iraq will forget about us.

    Don't know. (5.00 / 1) (#14)
    by oculus on Fri Dec 26, 2008 at 11:39:44 AM EST
    Back to Mexican street market.  My brother and I are walking down the street.  The hawkers are after me to buy jewelry and him to buy Viagra.  Pretty funny--well, I thought it was funny.  

    Maybe that was the long-term goal (5.00 / 2) (#16)
    by kdog on Fri Dec 26, 2008 at 11:44:51 AM EST
    all along...new markets for Pfizer, KFC, and Barney.

    It sure as hell wasn't about our safety and security, or our guys and gals woulda been home 6 years ago.


    New Factories to Replace 'Agriculture' (none / 0) (#20)
    by squeaky on Fri Dec 26, 2008 at 12:01:39 PM EST
    And like many breweries free samples once a week..

    A veritable trojan horse.


    aphrodisiacs (none / 0) (#22)
    by Fabian on Fri Dec 26, 2008 at 12:17:18 PM EST
    and other male performance enhancers have been around for many centuries.  How many animals have been killed just to have their body parts turned into very expensive and very sought after aphrodisiacs?

    The desire for these things has been around for a very long time.  Viagra is simply the newest generation of these products.  Little blue pill or ground seal phallus?

    Gentlemen, please rise for the latest saviour of wildlife ­ Viagra. For the traditional Far Eastern markets for aphrodisiacs made from animal parts is wilting in the face of stiff opposition from the little blue pill.

    Demand for seal and stag pen!ses has collapsed, and conservationists hope Pfizer's most famous product may also help to protect other species such as the tiger which, too, are used to combat impotence.


    Would it be better if they were offering endangered animal products instead of pharmaceuticals?


    Not An Aphrodisiac (5.00 / 1) (#23)
    by squeaky on Fri Dec 26, 2008 at 12:39:06 PM EST
    Or is it?

    I thought that it does nothing to make you have more desire, but just provides working equipment that stays and stays and stays.


    Depends on how you define (none / 0) (#24)
    by Fabian on Fri Dec 26, 2008 at 12:54:29 PM EST

    Yup (5.00 / 2) (#26)
    by squeaky on Fri Dec 26, 2008 at 01:08:38 PM EST
    Never took any although wine seems to work quite well to remove my inhibitions.

    But I always think of aphrodisiacs as enhancing desire not performance.

    Many of the chinese animal product are just like Viagra, imo, as they are about curing impotence or boosting performance. I assume that the desire is there, just a non working pump.


    Tried it once.... (none / 0) (#29)
    by kdog on Sat Dec 27, 2008 at 09:14:32 AM EST
    what can I say, I like to try things:)

    The sh*t definitely works...how do I put this gently...I'm usually good for two solid performances (pun semi-intended)...the night of the little blue pill experiment, I lost count:)


    Unlike alcohol (as Macduff says to Porter) (none / 0) (#25)
    by KeysDan on Fri Dec 26, 2008 at 12:58:55 PM EST
    that provokes and unprovkes--it provokes the desire ,but takes away the performance; Viagra  sort of unprovkes and provokes--on your own for the desire, but gives help in the performance department.

    BushCo Legacy (5.00 / 1) (#17)
    by squeaky on Fri Dec 26, 2008 at 11:58:24 AM EST
    The little blue pill the new symbol to replace the eagle. It is perfect. Losing power and still feel the need for world domination?  Not to worry we can still get it up and whoop your a$$..

    Winning hearts and minds and...

    Wonder if the joke is on us..

    Here's what I noticed at Rite Aid (5.00 / 1) (#27)
    by oculus on Fri Dec 26, 2008 at 01:37:59 PM EST
    this week:  Trojan Magnum XL condoms!

    lol (none / 0) (#21)
    by squeaky on Fri Dec 26, 2008 at 12:04:51 PM EST
    WHere's Claus Oldenburg and COosje van Bruggen when you need them..

    Oh, thats right he's on the little blue pills too. Too busy.


    Haw! (none / 0) (#1)
    by Fabian on Fri Dec 26, 2008 at 09:45:54 AM EST
    I hate that animals die to make supposed aphrodisiacs for humans.  It really tickles my funny bone that the lust for male sexual enhancement is universal.

    Go little blue pills!  

    (BTW - warlords run most of Afghanistan.  Now if we could just trade little blue pills for support for roads and schools, I'd be all for it.)

    Put a little X in the water (none / 0) (#2)
    by samtaylor2 on Fri Dec 26, 2008 at 09:51:14 AM EST
    And let them just love each other at least for a day (and then wake up with a headache).

    Bribing our way (none / 0) (#3)
    by SOS on Fri Dec 26, 2008 at 09:54:45 AM EST
    freedom again. Anything to protect that oil line.

    Oil line? (none / 0) (#5)
    by bocajeff on Fri Dec 26, 2008 at 10:08:58 AM EST
    I keep hearing about this oil line for 7 years now. Where is it?

    Explained (none / 0) (#7)
    by SOS on Fri Dec 26, 2008 at 10:19:19 AM EST
    perhaps (none / 0) (#4)
    by cpinva on Fri Dec 26, 2008 at 09:55:50 AM EST
    What's next? Stress relievers, anti-depressants, "pep pills", Ambien?

    counseling sessions, to explore their "inner" thug?

    i read this story, and all i could think was "great, a bunch of horny psychotics, running around loose with high-powered weapons." these guys are basically gang leaders, out to make a buck by whatever means work.

    if they were in the US, i assume the FBI would be hunting them down, as part of the "war on drugs". instead, we're providing them with taxpayer paid for goodies.

    the bush administration can't be relegated to the dustbin of history soon enough.

    Why are we still there again? (none / 0) (#15)
    by kdog on Fri Dec 26, 2008 at 11:42:19 AM EST
    I realize after the 9/11 attacks we needed to bust some heads and get a couple thousand pounds of flesh...regrettable but understandable.

    But 7 freakin' years of occupation?  Who does that serve?  I think we know the answer, and it ain't Joe and Jane Six-Pack, or Joe and Jane Afghani..unless he/she works for a CIA or DOD vendor, is on the CIA/DOD payroll...or recently, a Pfizer employee.

    It's all moot...Bush and a Republican congress didn't leave, and neither will Obama and a Democratic congress.  We'll be there till they run us out of Dodge with our tail between our legs, or our soldier's paychecks bounce...and not a second sooner.

    Maybe (none / 0) (#28)
    by themomcat on Fri Dec 26, 2008 at 01:40:30 PM EST
    It the new way to assassinate a couple of the older, uncooperative tribal chiefs. Most of them have never seen a doctor and, if they have undiagnosed heart problems, Viagra could cause a fatal event.