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A Quick Break From Election Coverage

By TChris, Section Off Topic
Posted on Tue Nov 04, 2008 at 02:15:22 PM EST
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As we await the outcome of the most monumental presidential election in ... well, at least the last four years ... let's take a deep breath, relax, and ask ourselves what the next president will do about one of the nation's most serious crime problems: the out-of-control gangs of roving roosters in Benton, Illinois.

[P]olice [in Benton] took a rooster into custody after it allegedly confronted a woman and her child. Police Chief Mike O'Neill said the rooster has been bothering people lately, trying to keep them from getting where they want to go. O'Neill said officers had enough on Monday and took the rooster into custody after what he described as a brief scuffle.

Apparently tasers were not used. And yes, it may have been only one maladapted rooster, but it's only a matter of time before gangs of rogue roosters are terrorizing your community! Let's make sure the next administration isn't soft on roosters.

< As Go the Redskins, So Goes the Nation (Usually) | Election Day Afternoon Open Thread >

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    A Quick Break From Election Coverage | 15 comments (15 topical)

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    I'll never forget (none / 0) (#1)
    by Democratic Cat on Tue Nov 04, 2008 at 02:30:58 PM EST
    my first stroll down the streets of downtown Berkeley, CA and hearing a rooster crowing.  They're legal there, inside the city limits. Of course, Berkeley roosters are very mellow; they'd never attack anyone.

    You can also take a dog with you on the bus in SF, as long as you pay the fare for them and they sit at your feet.

    Thanks for a good laugh, TChris.

    I think the problem can be solved easily (none / 0) (#2)
    by rdandrea on Tue Nov 04, 2008 at 02:35:51 PM EST
    by adding chicken-wire taps to FISA.

    Oh, absolutely. (none / 0) (#3)
    by Donald from Hawaii on Tue Nov 04, 2008 at 02:42:49 PM EST
    TChris: "Let's make sure the next administration isn't soft on roosters."

    We have innumerable feral chickens living in the large forest reserve in the back our valley in East Honolulu, and the roosters start crowing about 4:30am. If they roam into the residential district looking for food, as they frequently do, they can be very annoying.

    And that, TChris, is why the gods created fire, the ginsu knife, woks and teriyaki sauce.

    My God (5.00 / 2) (#5)
    by Socraticsilence on Tue Nov 04, 2008 at 03:17:18 PM EST
    Honolulu, now Illinois-- don't you see the connection people-- Obama is breeding a Rooster Army to take over America were all gonna die!

    [ Parent ]
    Or a chicken in every pot... (none / 0) (#13)
    by roy on Tue Nov 04, 2008 at 04:23:04 PM EST


    [ Parent ]
    California will write a proposition about it next (none / 0) (#4)
    by mexboy on Tue Nov 04, 2008 at 02:48:02 PM EST
    The wackos who brought you proposition 8 will no doubt write a new one.

    The proposition will change the state  constitution to prohibit roosters from crowing, because it will destroy traditional marriage and to prevent schools from teaching about the evil and unnatural crow of roosters, to children.

    When I lived (none / 0) (#6)
    by Spamlet on Tue Nov 04, 2008 at 03:19:15 PM EST
    on Vashon Island (Puget Sound), one day on my town's main drag there was a traffic jam (that is, ten cars unable to move). The problem? Chicken crossing road.

    The town I'm moving to (none / 0) (#8)
    by nycstray on Tue Nov 04, 2008 at 03:49:04 PM EST
    recently had problems with buffaloes walking the streets. And here I was thinking I would be watching out for coyotes, bears and dear . . .

    10 car traffic jams, can't wait!

    [ Parent ]

    We had tailgaters, too (n/t) (none / 0) (#14)
    by Spamlet on Tue Nov 04, 2008 at 05:01:10 PM EST


    [ Parent ]
    A coq au vin (none / 0) (#7)
    by Radiowalla on Tue Nov 04, 2008 at 03:42:03 PM EST
    in every pot!

    It figures... (none / 0) (#9)
    by roy on Tue Nov 04, 2008 at 04:01:20 PM EST
    Obama's failure to take care of this problem in his home state shows that he's not ready for the Presidency.

    No one's done more to solve the chicken problem (5.00 / 1) (#10)
    by sarcastic unnamed one on Tue Nov 04, 2008 at 04:07:14 PM EST
    than he.

    [ Parent ]
    That just proves my point (none / 0) (#11)
    by roy on Tue Nov 04, 2008 at 04:16:59 PM EST
    Obama could have solved the problem, but didn't.  Now it's time for somebody who says it isn't a problem to be given the chance to not solve it.

    [ Parent ]
    And I bet you're just the guy not to do it. (none / 0) (#12)
    by sarcastic unnamed one on Tue Nov 04, 2008 at 04:18:53 PM EST
    I'm gong to write your name in.

    [ Parent ]
    this is why (none / 0) (#15)
    by cpinva on Tue Nov 04, 2008 at 06:16:07 PM EST
    i bought a new, top of the line, weber grill a couple of years ago. i no longer have any fowl problems. :)

    A Quick Break From Election Coverage | 15 comments (15 topical)

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