As we await the outcome of the most monumental presidential election in ... well, at least the last four years ... let's take a deep breath, relax, and ask ourselves what the next president will do about one of the nation's most serious crime problems: the out-of-control gangs of roving roosters in Benton, Illinois.

[P]olice [in Benton] took a rooster into custody after it allegedly confronted a woman and her child. Police Chief Mike O'Neill said the rooster has been bothering people lately, trying to keep them from getting where they want to go. O'Neill said officers had enough on Monday and took the rooster into custody after what he described as a brief scuffle.

Apparently tasers were not used. And yes, it may have been only one maladapted rooster, but it's only a matter of time before gangs of rogue roosters are terrorizing your community! Let's make sure the next administration isn't soft on roosters.