Hospital Blogging and Open Thread

By Jeralyn, Section Blog Related
Posted on Fri Sep 29, 2006 at 03:33:02 PM EST
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The TL mom fell at her skilled nursing facility last night and fractured her hip. At 83 with Parkinson's and dementia, it's difficult. But, she just came through surgery and they said it went well. They've put a pin in her hip and were able to do it with a spinal anaesthetic instead of general. So I'll be hospital blogging on and off through the weekend, as my wireless connection holds up.

I'm sure I'll miss some news, so here's a place for you to comment away.

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Hospital Blogging and Open Thread | 28 comments (28 topical)

Re: Hospital Blogging and Open Thread (none / 0) (#1)
by Talkleft Visitor on Fri Sep 29, 2006 at 04:19:41 PM EST

Hoping the best for the TL Mom

Re: Hospital Blogging and Open Thread (none / 0) (#2)
by ras on Fri Sep 29, 2006 at 04:42:00 PM EST

Good luck, TL, to you & to your Mom.

Re: Hospital Blogging and Open Thread (none / 0) (#11)
by Goldwingwildcat on Fri Sep 29, 2006 at 08:48:08 PM EST

We just have to say...we know what you are experiencing. Jeannie has been a nurse for long term care for many years, she sees it first hand everyday. Lewis's parents just passed away last year. Thanks for your site to keep us sane in these times.

Re: Hospital Blogging and Open Thread (none / 0) (#3)
by weezie on Fri Sep 29, 2006 at 08:48:12 PM EST

Hang in there TL and your Mom, too. Everything will look better once out of the hospital.

Re: Hospital Blogging and Open Thread (none / 0) (#4)
by nolo on Fri Sep 29, 2006 at 08:48:12 PM EST

Sorry to hear-- best wishes.

Re: Hospital Blogging and Open Thread (none / 0) (#5)
by Talkleft Visitor on Fri Sep 29, 2006 at 08:48:12 PM EST

All the best to you and your mom. These are hard times but courage and a lot of love will pull you all through them.

Re: Hospital Blogging and Open Thread (none / 0) (#6)
by Gabriel Malor on Fri Sep 29, 2006 at 08:48:12 PM EST

My sympathy for you and your mom. I'm praying for ya.

Re: Hospital Blogging and Open Thread (none / 0) (#7)
by ding7777 on Fri Sep 29, 2006 at 08:48:12 PM EST

To TL's Mom - Hoping for a speedy recovery

Re: Hospital Blogging and Open Thread (none / 0) (#8)
by Talkleft Visitor on Fri Sep 29, 2006 at 08:48:12 PM EST

Best to you and Mom. Hoping she feels better soon.

Re: Hospital Blogging and Open Thread (none / 0) (#9)
by jimcee on Fri Sep 29, 2006 at 08:48:12 PM EST

TL, thoughts and prayers with you and yours.

Re: Hospital Blogging and Open Thread (none / 0) (#10)
by yerioy on Fri Sep 29, 2006 at 08:48:12 PM EST

TL, sometimes it feels overwhelming. But somehow we muddle through. She may not be able to show her appreciation but it is there. (My experience--seven years of family in one nursing home.) Take care of yourself, too.

Re: Hospital Blogging and Open Thread (none / 0) (#12)
by Talkleft Visitor on Fri Sep 29, 2006 at 10:11:58 PM EST

Sorry to hear about TL Mom and her hip..hopefully the surgery will be very successful and she will be up and walking before too long. Both of you just take it easy and try to relax..before long this too will pass and you will be back blogging to your hearts content!! Prayers on their way!

Re: Hospital Blogging and Open Thread (none / 0) (#13)
by Che's Lounge on Fri Sep 29, 2006 at 10:45:45 PM EST

And no, your mother was not operated on by little green men. (That's not me) Best wishes to you and your family, especially the TL mom.

Re: Hospital Blogging and Open Thread (none / 0) (#16)
by jimakaPPJ on Sat Sep 30, 2006 at 04:55:21 AM EST

TL - Sorry about your Mother's problems and pain. I hope she recovers as much as possible, and I am sure she knows what a great daughter she has. God Bless.

Re: Hospital Blogging and Open Thread (none / 0) (#20)
by Che's Lounge on Sat Sep 30, 2006 at 09:37:18 AM EST

Dementia is a fate I would not wish on anyone. It is just turning an otherwise common hospitalization into a a major expenditure of energy by family and staff. And you just moved. We are all sending some energy your way. This too shall pass.

Re: Hospital Blogging and Open Thread (none / 0) (#17)
by veloer on Sat Sep 30, 2006 at 09:47:44 AM EST

Our best wishes to your Mother.

Re: Hospital Blogging and Open Thread (none / 0) (#18)
by kdog on Sat Sep 30, 2006 at 09:47:44 AM EST

Best wishes for sure TL. I don't think your beliefs on death are unique, I feel the same. I believe my father hastened his own death by hitting the sauce hard before he got totally helpless. His choice angered most of my family, but I understood how he felt and accepted it, as difficult as it was. The advances in medicine that keep us alive longer and longer, though with a reduced quality of life, have brought these issues to the floor.

Re: Hospital Blogging and Open Thread (none / 0) (#19)
by weezie on Sat Sep 30, 2006 at 09:47:44 AM EST

Good observations TL. Sometime after you pass through this current crisis the subject of boomer aging and our personal responsibilities to the next generation would make a great forum. None of would choose the indignities of a slow decline but the most do not have a choice of how they are going to check out of this life.

Re: Hospital Blogging and Open Thread (none / 0) (#15)
by TheOtherWA on Sat Sep 30, 2006 at 09:53:18 AM EST

My best to you and your mom. It's tough but you will get through it. I've been there and know how hard these times can be. My parents were from the same generation and had similar attitudes. I just hope my mind and body fail together. And quickly, when the time comes. No long, drawn out procedures or therapies for me either. Whatever exists after this, I'll deal with it when I get there. Sure hope it's peaceful.

Re: Hospital Blogging and Open Thread (none / 0) (#21)
by dutchfox on Sat Sep 30, 2006 at 06:59:48 PM EST

All the best wishes for a speedy recovery to TLmom and strength to TL.

Re: Hospital Blogging and Open Thread (none / 0) (#23)
by Sailor on Sun Oct 01, 2006 at 12:38:01 PM EST

My most heartfelt good wishes. I've been trying to write that line every since I saw your post title. It's just awful when the parent becomes the child and vice versa. mY Dad had dementia, relapsing, remitting, also said not to be alzheimers ... and he bacame so weak that I couldn't always tell when he was trying to communicate a real time wish and was just out of it. He gave me and everyone else hell at times, and once I really deserved it because I thought he was out of it and was humoring him and it turned out he had good cause for not liking the night nurse. Sorry, I wasn't trying to make this to be about me, I just wanted you to know I understand and I think the world of you and how you're able to take the personal and extrapolate it to all of us, and the healthcare issue is but one example. Here's wishing the best for you and your Mom. I hate to (mis)quote a bumpersticker but bless all of you, no exceptions.

Re: Hospital Blogging and Open Thread (none / 0) (#14)
by Talkleft Visitor on Sun Oct 01, 2006 at 01:02:04 PM EST

Thanks, everyone. She had a tough night. Dementia is a very strange deal. She kept tugging at her bandage which even the nurses were instructed not to touch until the doctor came in the morning. Every time she grabbed it, she would announce, "I touched it" as if she expected to be punished. She apologized profusely, but had no cognitive ability to stop herself. She also kept crying out "Doctor, help me" even though when you asked her what hurt or what was wrong, she had no answer. She knew she was doing something wrong, but had no ability to know what it was. She doesn't have Alzheimer's, although the doctors are careful to say they have no idea what the difference is between Alzheimer's and other forms of dementia. The nurses and aides are fantastic. They hold her hand and speak to her in a way that earns her trust. It's not predominately a memory thing. She knows enough to ask, "Where will I go from here?" She thinks she will be punished by being sent to yet another unfamiliar facility. But it's a child-like question, as if she thinks the fall happened because she was bad, not because she didn't realize she couldn't walk on her own. She calls out my name as often as she calls out "Doctor, help me" and "Nurse, Nurse." Because I visit her as often as I do, a few times a week, I can understand and translate most of her statements, even though she mixes up her words. But sometimes, even I am stumped. Tonight, she kept repeating "pen" -- at first I thought she wanted to write things down and keep a record. When she gets frustrated, she often asks me to write down my phone number, even though she and the nursing home obviously have it. Now I'm wondering whether she heard "pin" during surgery, meaning the pin they put in her hip, and confused it with "pen." There's no way to know. In some ways she is physically so strong. She can physically fight the nurses to where they can't escape from her grip. She can rip out tubes and throw pillows across the room. She usually can describe where it hurts. She never fails to say "thank you" and politely, but emphatically, "I object." She's not a whiner, never has been. But she's always been one to stand up for what she believes is right, which makes me listen even more closely when she complains. She also trusts me. When I tell her she sailed through surgery, she relaxes, and says, "That's good." But a year and a half of living in a nursing home where she doesn't trust that they know how to give the right pills, where males as well as females dress and undress her and where her continence may falter, has taken its toll. There is no dignity to aging alone. There is no one to fault. Fortunately, she has the financial ability to afford the best care available in our area. 20 years ago, realizing she would outlive my father, who died 5 years ago, I insisted she get long term care insurance. That, along with her private medical insurance, cuts her expenses from $10,000 a month to $5,000 a month -- which she can afford for a few more years. It makes me wonder, though, what about us baby boomers? I used to have long term care insurance, but canceled it when I realized what it takes to collect. Basically, you have to be incontinent, unable to dress yourself and unable to feed yourself or clean yourself. When that happens to me, I'd just as soon be dead. I canceled the insurance. Those of my parents age, the 1929 Depression generation, don't have that mentality. Life is life, and you keep going no matter what. Maybe I'm unique, or maybe others of my generation feel as I do -- if the quality of life is not there, and there's no hope of restoring it, I'd rather save myself and my child the grief, and pass on through to the other side, even though the other side is most likely nothingness. I don't believe in heaven or hell. Or that there is going to be some party or family reunion on the other side. But I do believe there will be some form of peace. And peace, in my lifetime of experience, has been enormously underrated.

Re: Hospital Blogging and Open Thread (none / 0) (#22)
by neuron on Sun Oct 01, 2006 at 01:04:15 PM EST

Best of luck to you and your Mom. This getting old and frail business is not for the faint hearted. You have my prayers.

Re: Hospital Blogging and Open Thread (none / 0) (#24)
by Edger on Sun Oct 01, 2006 at 01:24:48 PM EST

Wow, I didn't see this post till just now. My best wishes to your mom, and I hope her recovery is relatively quick, painless and free of complications... She's also lucky to have such a caring and attentive daughter.

Re: Hospital Blogging and Open Thread (none / 0) (#25)
by Peaches on Mon Oct 02, 2006 at 09:58:05 AM EST

TL, My father has Parkinson's. He is only 65 years old, but he has lived with the disease for many years and was diagnosed with it in his thirties. He has managed to live a long time and he has gone through a number of surgeries. However, there is no cure, so every positive gain through medication or surgery has been followed by a long slow degeneration. He has suffered from dementia over the last decade. However, it has always been worse in the hospital and sometimes at crisis levels. The hospital staff has been reluctant to release him after his surgery a few years ago to implant an electrical stimulus in his brain. He was pretty whacked out. He is a big man, and the doctors recommended he be attended by a professional staff. He was also heavily medicated by the hospital during his stay. My mother finally told the staff she is taking him home, risks to her health and all. She is much smaller than he. There is no substitution for home. He immediately regained his senses upon leaving the hospital. He was wholly himself by the time he returned home. His dementia comes and goes still, but he also understands it himself. If he is not making sense, he says so and goes to sleep. This is usually in the evening. The rest of the day his mind is sharp. I think that the problem is that we have given the care of our elders over to corporations who are in the health care business to make profits not to care for loved ones. Life can be maintained and even extended over long periods in these settings, but it is no better than life for endangered species in zoos where life expectancy is also greater, than the natural settings but the quality of life is much dimished from their wilderness counterparts. Old age is meant to be in the company of family and community. The final days should be amongst ones we love.

Re: Hospital Blogging and Open Thread (none / 0) (#26)
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Re: Hospital Blogging and Open Thread (none / 0) (#28)
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Hospital Blogging and Open Thread | 28 comments (28 topical)

Hospital Blogging and Open Thread

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