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My Nephew Graduates High School

By Big Tent Democrat, Section Off Topic
Posted on Mon Apr 23, 2012 at 04:01:54 PM EST
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My nephew, who suffers from autism, graduates from high school this year. His determination, and that of his parents and his sister, has filled me with admiration. The University of Missouri newspaper, The Missourian, wrote about it:

The television in the lobby of the MU Student Recreation Complex blared the score of the Missouri-Norfolk State matchup in the final two minutes of the second-round game in the 2012 NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament. Tension radiated from the crowd that gathered to watch the close game, cheering on the Tigers as they struggled against the Spartans. Yet the din of March Madness excitement erupting right behind her did not distract Becky Llorens, who quietly continued looking down into the MU Aquatic Center, where her son, Nick, would soon join the Masters Swim Program. Like most high school seniors, Nick Llorens juggles an active schedule. Along with the hours spent in the pool, he also has after-school tutoring sessions and a part-time job that leave him with little free time. Yet, unlike his classmates, Llorens is 20 years old, autistic and about to graduate into the world of adulthood.

My brother and sister in law never accepted the stated limitations:

He surprises me all the time, actually," Becky Llorens said. "That's why I never want to say that he's reached his potential and that he won't grow anymore because every time I think that maybe he's at the limit of what he can do, he does more.”

So brave. So determined. Brother. Sister. Niece. Nephew. I tip my hat to you all.

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    My Nephew Graduates High School | 28 comments (28 topical)
    Congrats! (5.00 / 6) (#1)
    by jbindc on Mon Apr 23, 2012 at 04:07:40 PM EST


    Sounds like a very brave ... (5.00 / 4) (#2)
    by Yman on Mon Apr 23, 2012 at 04:34:29 PM EST
    ... and determined, young man.  His parents should be very proud.

    I agree! (none / 0) (#28)
    by mplo on Sun May 05, 2013 at 12:49:17 PM EST
    More power to your nephew, as well as the rest of the family!

    Parent
    I tip my hat to you all, too. (5.00 / 5) (#3)
    by sj on Mon Apr 23, 2012 at 04:41:00 PM EST
    I'm sure you are all very proud.  As you should be.  Proud of both the fine young man that is graduating and the family who pulled together to make it happen.

    Lovely story (5.00 / 3) (#4)
    by Dadler on Mon Apr 23, 2012 at 04:41:19 PM EST
    Thank you.

    Congratulations (5.00 / 4) (#5)
    by oldmancoyote22 on Mon Apr 23, 2012 at 04:52:04 PM EST
    Great story. Thanks for sharing.

    I just read it at Orange (5.00 / 7) (#6)
    by Militarytracy on Mon Apr 23, 2012 at 06:17:36 PM EST
    and watched the video, and cried.  Congratulations to Nick, and your family.  There is no cure for the fullness and depth of who you become on this road with all of your family...even those challenged by the "norms".  You don't get to be the same again, it is a certain cure for shallowness for those who have the courage :)

    I read it to Josh and he said to add that it helps if you have great parents too.  One of Josh's classmates has autism, she is a great artist though.  He was bummed when his classmates sent him cards at the hospital because he was sure that hers would be AWESOME but she was out sick the day they made cards to send him.

    You always say something wonderful and (5.00 / 5) (#8)
    by Angel on Mon Apr 23, 2012 at 06:53:35 PM EST
    meaningful.

    Parent
    We are on a similar road (5.00 / 4) (#12)
    by Militarytracy on Mon Apr 23, 2012 at 07:38:34 PM EST
    My son's life options are much more limited than most people.  I give not one inch though, just modify modify modify.  And I try not to get in his way.  His school falls through funding cracks because it is a middle class neighborhood, everyone is still broke though these days.  But his school started doing a fundraiser Boosterathon run every year three years ago.  Right before the first fun run thing, a pretty "famous" foot physician on the East Coast wanted to amputate his feet.  He said that his feet will hurt some day and he should get used to walking in prosthetic feet when he is a child.  It would make his life easier.

    I was not prepared to hear something like that and God knows my 10 year old wasn't either.  So this funrun came up and I told him there was no way he was running in it because his feet will hurt him someday.  I had officially lost my mind or something...now that I look back.  My son was so bummed, he wanted to do this thing as much as any other kid at his school did.  I told him I would keep him company on the sidelines, but I was a few moments late getting there that day.  He was out on the track running.  He ran all the laps that they were counting, his classmates who finished before he did began to all group around him running at the slower pace.  I had to call his dad in Afghanistan and explain that our son had finished the boosterathon funrun thing and I had not allowed him to collect a single sponsor.  We sponsored him for $20 a lap, and a local doctor heard what he did and sent the school money too.  I just need to get the hell out of his way sometimes.  When I drove him home that afternoon I was so sorry, I apologized over and over again and he told me, "Mom, you can't live for what you are afraid of.  You just have to live for today."

    The Boosterathon became his big thing.  Last year he raised over a $1000 and this year he raised $1500.  He only finished the whole thing the first year he ran it, the last two years he has been a couple of laps shy. This year he did it the week before this last surgery that opened up his chest and his lung capacity.  He was tired, he was tired 1/4 of the way in but I can't mess up like I did the first year.  I watch. I fetch water.  I ran alongside him when he got weary, and this year his dad did carry him on his shoulders for three rest laps and everyone allowed us to cheat just a little.

    And things are changing drastically in the realm of joint replacement.  When he is older and his feet hurt, they will probably have ankle joints to replace his existing ankle with.  Josh's motor skills are affected like Nick's, his cognition is not...so here I am, and he is on a different time line but I have to be open to discoveries and I have to be open to him and not be quick to pass judgment on what he is capable of doing or what is good for him to do and not do.  I've been WRONG before :)

    Parent

    What a heartwarming story! (none / 0) (#27)
    by mplo on Sun May 05, 2013 at 12:48:25 PM EST
    Your son sounds like a fighter!  More power to him...and you, as well!

    Parent
    I can't speak for anyone else, but I am (5.00 / 6) (#13)
    by Anne on Mon Apr 23, 2012 at 07:41:01 PM EST
    so glad I have gotten to "know" Josh through you, through what you have shared of this clearly special human being.

    I often think that it is children like Josh, tested from the get-go, who have such a capacity to change the world, and their chances of doing so are in large part because they have parents like you and your husband.

    I think what kids like Josh - and BTD's nephew - teach us, as parents, is that fear is a wasted emotion; it just gets in the way of us going where we need to go and doing what we need to do.

    Thanks for sharing Josh with us, Tracy; I feel like I can be a better person for the things I learn from him.

    Parent

    God Bless (5.00 / 2) (#7)
    by RKF on Mon Apr 23, 2012 at 06:47:19 PM EST


    All good wishes... (5.00 / 2) (#9)
    by dutchfox on Mon Apr 23, 2012 at 06:57:15 PM EST
    to your nephew and his family on this momentous occasion. Hurrah!