Getting bad news...

Results are in. Every portion of the prostate, lymph nodes around it, and possibly more spreading.

Looks like the aggressive type. Woohoo! I don't do anything half way.

Instead of an 8-12 week wait, I head up possibly Monday for the CAT scan and bone scan, then meet with the doctor Wednesday.

Not much to say... I'm not really in shock, but the worst case is a distinct probability now.

I knew drinking Agent Orange, which I thought was Orange Ade, was a mistake (just kidding here).

So...time to make more plans, record some 10 years worth of mathematics videos for my son, and... plan on starting my school in Colombia sooner instead of later.

So, that's where it stands. I'll know more wednesday, but I may diary more tonight, after a few of my favorite barley pops-- or a lot of them.


< Planning to Live | Some weeks I ought to stay in bed... >
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    Aw, sh*t, Jeff. (5.00 / 4) (#1)
    by caseyOR on Fri Aug 12, 2011 at 06:47:19 PM EST
    I am so sorry about this. Definitely not the news anyone was hoping for.

    I'll come back later with more thoughts. For now, I am just so sorry, guy.

    Casey, I'm in a little shock, (5.00 / 5) (#2)
    by jeffinalabama on Fri Aug 12, 2011 at 06:52:02 PM EST
    but that doesn't change any desire to survive this. Might mean the pirate crew has the position of "senior advisor," instead of active, for a few years.

    Everything's scheduled for Wednesday now. I should get bone scan results Friday. I fly to Colombia Saturday at 7 am unless the doctor delays it. I actually bought trip insurance this time. Never have before.

    Hey, we're a pirate crew. We roll with (5.00 / 4) (#3)
    by caseyOR on Fri Aug 12, 2011 at 07:09:10 PM EST
    all the punches. If need be, we'll establish a pirate crew DL. You'll be a full member, with all privileges accorded therefore, but on temporary low-active status.

    Keep it coming, Jeff (5.00 / 7) (#4)
    by gyrfalcon on Fri Aug 12, 2011 at 07:57:42 PM EST
    Your friends here in "the cloud" have a non-stop sympathetic ear for whatever you want to vent about all of this.  Any time of day or night, there's always somebody around.

    I am truly sorry to hear this, Jeff. (5.00 / 1) (#5)
    by vml68 on Fri Aug 12, 2011 at 10:11:18 PM EST
    You will beat this, you have to beat this!
    I want to be reading your posts and diaries for many years to come.
    I was thinking of you as I was preparing dinner tonight. My diet only lasted a few days. My parents made a surprise visit for a week and whenever they are around, it is a 24/7 food fest and my will power is non-existent. By the time they leave, I am quite sick of eating, so it should be easy to get back on the diet.

    P.S.- If you need anything please do not hesitate to ask.

    Have you talked to anyone at the VA? (5.00 / 2) (#6)
    by Anne on Sat Aug 13, 2011 at 08:10:10 PM EST
    I'm thinking that your Agent Orange exposure might get you (1) free care and (2) a disability check.  

    Maybe your local VA isn't anywhere you'd want to go for treatment; here in Baltimore, the downtown VA is associated with, and the docs rotate through, the Univ. of MD Medical Center - the home of Shock Trauma, the nation's first trauma center.

    Here's a name for you: Patrick Walsh; one of the pre-eminent urological surgeons, who ought to be able to tell your docs who the best person in your area is for treatment.

    And here's another link to Hopkins' Brady Urological Institute - if nothing else; lots of info.  The more you know...know what I mean?

    Glad to hear they're fast-tracking you, although that is somewhat like knowing the ambulance is going lights-and-siren instead of just, you know, fast - but thank goodness they're not putting you off.

    Please keep us posted and be sure to let us know if there's anything we can do!

    Echoing everyone's comments (5.00 / 3) (#10)
    by Peter G on Sun Aug 14, 2011 at 01:56:04 PM EST
    We're all here for you.  As my Quaker friends say, we're "holding you in the light."  Hope you're in that group -- large or small, what does it matter -- that responds to the available treatment modalities.  You've certainly got the strength of mind, of spirit, of character, and of body to maximize your chances.

    So you're not a 1%'er...` (5.00 / 1) (#12)
    by kdog on Mon Aug 15, 2011 at 10:27:11 AM EST
    you'll be in the percentage that beats it...gotta believe like Tug McGraw.

    Remember, the docs may no cancer, they don't know you my friend...hang in there...one day at a time, one treatment at a time, one hurdle at a time.  Keep your spirits up and your body & mind will follow. Believe.

    I don't really know what to say (5.00 / 2) (#13)
    by CST on Tue Aug 16, 2011 at 01:27:37 PM EST
    other than you know we're pulling for you, and we know you're pulling for you, so between all of us hopefully we can pull you through this.

    Are you heading down to Colombia (5.00 / 1) (#18)
    by caseyOR on Fri Aug 19, 2011 at 01:35:16 PM EST
    with the wee lad tomorrow? I hope so as that would mean the doctors gave you the okay to put off treatment for a little bit. And I have to believe they would not so that if they thought it would endanger you further.

    So, if you are going south have a good time.

    I've been hoping that the reason we (none / 0) (#19)
    by vml68 on Fri Aug 19, 2011 at 07:55:20 PM EST
    haven't heard from him is because he is busy getting everything organized for his trip to Columbia.

    Were you planning to (none / 0) (#7)
    by oculus on Sun Aug 14, 2011 at 06:58:58 AM EST
    go to Columbia soon in the absence of these biopsy results?  

    I have to take my son back on the 20th... (none / 0) (#8)
    by jeffinalabama on Sun Aug 14, 2011 at 10:47:16 AM EST
    but I don't know how long I'll get to stay, now.

    I'm so sorry to hear (none / 0) (#9)
    by observed on Sun Aug 14, 2011 at 12:01:28 PM EST
    the news. We are all pulling for you.

    I am so sorry (none / 0) (#11)
    by jbindc on Mon Aug 15, 2011 at 09:52:44 AM EST
    I know many people around here aren't religious around here, but I will say some prayers for you.

    Gotta cover all the bases!

    Thinking of you and hoping the results of (none / 0) (#14)
    by vml68 on Wed Aug 17, 2011 at 12:46:08 PM EST
    the scans and the conversation with the doctor today are both better than expected.

    Thoughts and prayers Jeff. Let us know (none / 0) (#15)
    by sarcastic unnamed one on Wed Aug 17, 2011 at 02:52:59 PM EST
    what the doc says today.

    thinking about you today (none / 0) (#16)
    by desmoinesdem on Wed Aug 17, 2011 at 11:10:15 PM EST
    and hoping the doctor outlined good treatment options for you.

    Fingers crossed (none / 0) (#17)
    by lilburro on Thu Aug 18, 2011 at 11:11:03 AM EST
    thinking of you Jeff.

    Jeff, hope your trip goes (none / 0) (#20)
    by oculus on Sat Aug 20, 2011 at 12:14:07 PM EST
    just fine as you escort your son back to Columbia and a new school year. My 13-yr. old tutoree texted to say his school starts again Monday and he's excited.

    Just letting you (none / 0) (#21)
    by Amiss on Tue Dec 04, 2012 at 12:04:39 AM EST
    Know you are special and special thoughts, hopes and prayers are coming your way. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

    Sorry to hear about this! (none / 0) (#22)
    by mplo on Mon May 06, 2013 at 07:33:50 AM EST
    My thoughts are with you during these difficult times.  Here's wishing you all the best of luck, and a full, speedy recovery.

    I'll be here tomorrow (none / 0) (#23)
    by Slado on Tue Dec 23, 2014 at 07:21:56 PM EST
    Like you I've been given bad news many times.   Those four words were given to me 17 years ago when I first presented with a 11lb 12oz tumor in my chest.  They came from a family friend, a Vietnam Vet who'd spent 6 1/2 years in captivity including a few at the Hanoi Hilton.   He woke up every day of his captivity and said those words to himself.

    Whenever I switch into patient mode I use those four words to keep me going and to remind me that...

    All I can control is the immediate and today's goal is to enjoy  today as much as possible and to be here tomorrow to enjoy another day.

    Keep it simple and be your best self.   People are inspired when they see others taking bad news well.   Why, because most don't realize that they have it in them.   You really only have two choices.   Keep going or dart giving up.   Sounds like you are like me.

    We'll be here tomorrow.

    Take care