Schoolhouse rock can make me cry. The final five lines have always choked me up. I’m a sentimental pod, at times. I miss a cousin with 2 spare foot-digits that I’ve never met. Fine, funky beat, too. I could see Phish doing a cover.

Little Twelvetoes
Music & Lyrics: Bob Dorough
Sung by: Bob Dorough

Now if man had been born with 6 fingers on each hand, he’d also have
12 toes or so the theory goes. Well, with twelve digits, I mean
fingers, he probably would have invented two more digits when he
invented his number system. Then, if he saved the zero for the end,
he could count and multiply by twelve just as easily as you and I do
by ten.

Now if man had been born with 6 fingers on each hand, he’d probably
count: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, dek, el,
doh. “Dek” and “el” being two entirely new signs meaning ten and
eleven. Single digits! And his twelve, “doh”, would be written 1-0.
Get it? That’d be swell, for multiplying by 12.

Hey little twelvetoes, I hope you’re well.
Must be some far-flung planet where you dwell.
If we were together, you could be my cousin,
Down here we call it a dozen.
Hey little twelvetoes, please come back home.

Now if man had been born with 6 fingers on each hand, his children
would have ’em too. And when they played hide-and-go-seek they’d
count by sixes fast. And when they studied piano, they’d do their
six-finger exercises. And when they went to school, they’d learn the
golden rule, and how to multiply by twelve easy: just put down a
zero. But me, I have to learn it the hard way.

Lemme see now:
One times 12 is twelve, two times 12 is 24.
Three times 12 is 36, four times 12 is 48, five times 12 is 60.
Six times 12 is 72, seven times 12 is 84.
Eight times 12 is 96, nine times 12 is 108, ten times 12 is 120.
Eleven times 12 is 132, and 12 times 12 is 144. WOW!

Hey little twelvetoes, I hope you’re thriving.
Some of us ten-toed folks are still surviving.
If you help me with my twelves, I’ll help you with your tens.
And we could all be friends.
Little twelvetoes, please come back home.